its raining like mad here in pasir ris of late.. esp today. the monsoon's gonna go in march. afterwards, man, i'll miss d monsoon a lot. it keeps us cold n nice. not the drought-like state after it passes on. urgh. the soil near my block actually looks like a desert, with all d terbelah n stuff. man, man. (haha, pukulan geografi).

i tink im going mad wif the lib's offer of borrowing 8 books!! how cool issat? i tink so far i have read more than 16 books already, within a few weeks.. woohhoo.. im penganggur.. ogod. i hav no job, no money. eee. it sucks.

my room's comp' s internet is so dengki to me. it just decides to break down during the holidays. wtf?? n i hav to use my bro's com for d internet, along with mean looks n sighs, mind u prominent ones too. disgusting. u tink i like going into his room??

syash told me she met fiza.. yes, the one n onli fiza of my life!! hahaha. shes in MI too. we were like isi n kuku in mendaki tuition ah. we just stuck with each other n did stuff together. she was the one always helping me out with maths, n she i tell u, rawks to d core!! we shared many stuff, so wen d time came for us to separate (last day of tuition), i was somehow silenced for the next couple of wks, coz sumhow i fil tat ive lost a great fren. hard to contact coz shes in dunman. urgh. urgh. luckily theres frensta, emails, blabeddy blah.

ok, i saw khairul on msn yestadae. d moment i saw him, i quickly signed out. Y? i was a huge coward, literally n technically. HUGE. at nite, i thought about the things i would say. like, 'wats wrng wif u???', 'wat hav i done?'. ok, fine, i noe hes not d right person to be extending a frenship but i tink evry1 deserves a chance right? FRIEND.. not that friend. please. open up ur shattered brains. as far as im concerned, hu in the right frame of mind, wants to be that kind of friend with me? pls la. its reality. i have taken a reality check n inoe wat d stakes are. zero chance, fat hope. yeah, FAT hope.

im d best pessimistic around n tat sets me on the ground firmly. i dun fantasize n think 'hey, im worshipped by thousands.' tats so not me. im a firm believer in tinkin n getting real with myself n things surr. me.

stop. i tink im going into d care n welfare club at polytechnic. i love volunteering, but it seems that no chance is given in sec sch. if SC even counts. i tink theyre wat pple say, pencacai angkat najis? haha. tak baik ah. but serious seh. they get peanuts, n we get peanuts. they promise us a great deal of things. i tink oni 25% is accounted for. they just wear a badge n stand on ceremony upon election. farce i tell u. puppets of the school. many wld agree wif me man. theyre just there to be there. shld enforce them la, become like sch prefects. our sch has no prefects, but SCs hu r just roaming around, chest high n proud, but nothing good. im happi i dint get in coz i wldnt wanna suffer all d backlashing. ee.. yeah, i got interviewd, but i purposely after the interview, i quit.