OH BLOODY CRAP. I LOST ALL MY LINKS. DAMN DAMN IT. AND MY BELOVED TAGGY.
SHIT HAPPENS. SHIT REALLY DOES HAPPEN.

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And I don't get you at all.
You said you loved me,
you said you were sorry,
and once forevermore,
you have hurt me
Why the apology, which seems such a formality on Day 1,
only to strike out once more
on my already struggling, crippled, bloody heart?

I'm already fighting non-stop to stay strong in what I'm doing now, maintaining that blazing passion for which I'm salvaging the last few burning flames I seek under the hot, black rubbly soot.

And at harrowing times like now when I need you most, when I need you badly, you've struck and hurt me again.
At times when I just need to see your caring face and concern, you turn your back to me and leave me alone, sore and defeated from all my battles.
At times when I desperately need a listening ear, two shoulders to cry on, a warmth I could not get outside, you were never, ever there for me.
You never were, and probably never, ever will be there for me, will you?
My own flesh and blood.

I wonder why I have held myself back just to respect the wishes.
I wonder why, when all I've ever felt, even after all my earthly sacrifices, is resentment.

I just feel like stripping myself of the walls I have built surrounding my self, and for once, be who I am, and for once, and be truthful to myself and get what I actually want and not what you want me to be.

I have been following all your wants since Day 1, and frankly, the decisions I have made for myself, such as going to my diploma and going into journalism and not a JC, is what truly made me into me, and be very, very, very much alive and happy. I guess you can see that by now. Wait, happy is a total understatement, btw.

I have not suffered one bit in the decisions I made, and what's even better is that, only through these decisions that I see my path in life and is where I ultimately draw my happiness from.

So there, I've said it. If you come across this, I'm sorry but I really am hurt. Why can other people show me love and cherish my presence, but not from my own?