Today, OVERDOSE on beriani. Seriously overdose. Damn it. Baru nak challenge my supe in losing weight.

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Ok, so life is what, returning back to NORMAL with school?

What is so NORMAL if there's:

No more nraXXXX@sph.com.sg
No more my DID: 6319-5670
No more email signature

-My Full Name-
Journalist (I)
Dalam Negeri
Berita Harian
DID: 6319-5670
Mobile: XXXX XXXX
Fax: 6319-8255

No more hounding of newsmakers
No more briefing the desks
No more adrenaline rush
No more excitement
No more rushing to Tan Tock Seng Hospital for an adhoc story and chasing the busted offstone.
No more cups and cups of thick black coffee
No more laughing
No more liaising with deadly slow media relations/corp comms people
No more sense of satisfaction upon seeing a story getting published
No more receiving spam messages from happy interviewees who appreciate my stories
No more kekek-kekek with the photographers


And is this really the life that I want? Devoid of journalism, devoid of the heart-pumping, stressful moments? Gosh, life is not returning to normal for me.

In fact, I feel I am taken away from my life itself. Gosh, if this is how a break-up feels like. IT DAMN WELL SUCKS.

Been so murung like nobody's business, cry when no one's looking, the emotional wound torn and torn repeatedly. I cried like no tomorrow.

I cried as I went past the route I usually take in bus 39 to go home everyday. As I saw Yishun stadium, and bus 39, I remembered those days (wah, dah pakai 'those days' yer) where I would be mentally tired and would stare outside the glass windows, thinking about my past stories, possible own stories and current legwork done.

Gosh, after my diploma, if I do not get my scholarship, I will join it again. And work from Scale D to G10. And I do not care about the meagre pay of a diploma graduate, as long as I am happy.

And yes, I am going to listen to my heart once more like I did for my path after 'O' Levels. I am sure my heart knows me best and will not disappoint me, like how it had served me nothing but happiness all these while I listened to it.

:)

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Khas untukmu, yang telah ku tinggalkan pada tanggal 09/10/09 (nice date..), cinta hidupku hanya satu itu. Inilah tangisan dan rintihan hati yang terluka.

Lagu ini paparan batinku kini..

Sonata Musim Salju
Nyanyian Hazami

Saat ku merindukan dirimu
Jiwa meronta kau ku damba
Oh gerhanalah seluruh pancaindera

Ku hilang dalam memori cinta
Membakar seluruh jiwa raga
Hanya kau untukku
Kau tiada dua

Bagaikan siang tiada mentari
Bagai malam tiada cahaya purnama
Tanpamu tiada erti hidup berdua
Ke akhir masa kau ku cinta

Bagaikan surga tiada bidadari
Kau ibarat hembusan nafas terakhir
Pulanglah sayang usah kau berpaling
Di sini ku pasrah menanti

Dikau bak salju ditiup bayu
Kau rebah di pangkuan bumi
Ku yakini kasih
Restui, Illahi

Bagaikan siang tiada mentari
Bagai malam tiada cahaya purnama
Tanpamu tiada erti hidup berdua
Ke akhir masa kau ku cinta

Bagaikan surga tiada bidadari
Kau ibarat hembusan nafas terakhir
Pulanglah sayang usah kau berpaling
Di sini ku pasrah menanti

Ku doa kau hadir
Permaisuri mahligaiku
Hidup mati cinta kita bersama
Sayang

Tanpamu tiada erti hidup berdua
Ke akhir masa kau ku cinta
Bagaikan surga tiada bidadari
Kau ibarat hembusan nafas terakhir
Pulanglah sayang usah kau berpaling
Di sini ku pasrah menanti