I would feel so overwhelmed with what-you-call-it? in one week, and the next, I feel so hyper-sensitive at his remarks. And most of the time, our conversations would simmer off to utter silence. HATE THAT WHEN IT HAPPENS! (Ilham selalu tak datang! ARGH)
I really want to talk to you, to know you more as a person; to know how was your day like, to learn more about your job, to laugh, to discuss, to be myself. Just have ongoing conversations. But sometimes, I run out of things to talk about, and fast too, at that.
Sometimes I feel I try too hard or you simply don't try? I truly don't know.
It can be extremely exhausting, but I never give up trying to understand you as a person because you're the first person who share the exact same interests as I do and I would love to hear your perspectives as compared to mine.
You are one of the hardest comprehension text I've ever attempted to understand. LOL
Then again, I wouldn't mind just being your conversational friend, because it is truly an honour to know someone like you.
However, somehow, deep inside, I wish to know the truth about your feelings, so that I will not destroy what we have. I truly treasure what we have and I don't want to mar it with hurt or misunderstanding. So I need the truth from you, soon I hope?
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Aku masih keliru. Aku sangat dahagakan penjelasan dan kejujuran. Kerana setelah aku tahu segala-galanya, termasuk perasaan dia, aku akan menjadi lega dan tentunya dapat meneruskan hidup.
Aku benci apabila keadaan sebegini melandaku. Secepatnya, aku ingin tahu kedudukannya, kedudukanku. Meski aku boleh dikecewakan, namun aku bahagia kerana akhirnya dapat meneruskan hidup semula.
Sekarang aku ibarat hidup segan, mati malu sebab aku tidak dapat menjangkakan kelakuan mahupun perasaannya.
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