Scary Dreams and Hidden Anger symptoms

Hello there! To everyone who has comforted me, really, I owe you all one man.

Ok, I was feeling totally tired and thus, a short nap. But what frightened me a lot was the nightmare ('afternoon'-mare, more like it) I had.

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I dreamt about today. I woke up after that nap (it felt so extremely real) and felt hungry. I decided to boil some hotdogs (there were some in reality in the freezer) and boiled some water in a pan (fricking pan, not proper periuk, mind you).

I went out of the kitchen to scold my baby brother (happens all the time in reality) and then the water bubbled too much, spilling over mercilessly and the fire raged and raged.

The fire raging was scary. It was about to melt the fire starter knob on the cooking stove. The fire engulfed the one partition of the stove. The knob head was spoilt and we had to interchange the one fiddly knob with three starters.

So I put my hand through the fricking fire to switch off the gas (my heart in the dream was pumping madly) but somehow, I wasn't injured. I tried again, but this time, it melted the fiddly knob and the gas indicator. The fire still raged gaily on its own, being fertilised further by the influx of gas.

I tried another once or twice, yet I still failed.

Then.. someone called me on phone. I woke up, for real. I found myself questioning, was it for real I woke up? Gosh, that dream was horrible. The fire was not engulfing the kitchen, but just the stove area, but still it felt so real. I even encouraged myself to ignore the pain of the fire to shut off the gas! What was I thinking? I've been having weird and fearful dreams.

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And I realised I have symptoms of hidden anger, like

- Procrastination of imposed tasks (I have one article, supposed to be finished 2-3 wks ago)

- Perpetual or habitual lateness (if you know me, I'm never late, but somehow, lately, I'm the tardy one)

- Liking sadistic or ironic humour (oh shit, this is true.)

- Sarcasm, cynicism and flippancy

- Waking up tired,

- Smiling while hurting (this is even truer!)

- Overcontrolled, monotone speech

- Difficulty falling and staying asleep at night

- Boredom, apathy or loss of interest (shows why I procrastinate my article)

- Having nightmares,

- Excessive irritability

- Over-politeness

- Clenched jaw and fists, grinding teeth

- Getting drowsy at inappropriate times.

Hidden anger. Yes, I agree I may have hidden anger.

I'm going through a rough patch now and it's taking a toll. And yes, I told you all I cannot cry for some reason. Maybe I've bottled up my feelings and perhaps, all my anger have been saved for the final apocalypse. And I've been rejected thrice by that place, and of course, I'm not sad anymore. I am just angry.