Kata termanis hanya untuk dia
kekasih sepanjang hidup
Ku masih merindukannya
Apakah ku amat berarti di mata engkau
Telah ku ukir wajahmu lama dalam hati aku

Yeah. I have a bloody huge dilemma. Can't possibly post it online since it's a lil sensitive for me. Funny thing is, for once, I don't have any sort of answer, frame of reference, frame of mind to at least get a gist of what I am going to decide to do. For once, I am sitting alone, staring at my 4 walls and just shutting off. Wooh. Buku bertemu ruas. I have met a problem in which I cannot solve (Except A.Maths though, but that's not the question here!).

I have day-trendsetting earworms. Yesterday, earworms for Rossa were active, so I played Rossa songs and Ayat-Ayat Cinta throughout the night. And also Umrao Jaan songs. OMG. They are resident earworms now. Today, my earworms reverberate Acha-Irwansyah duets in my eardrums. Wonder what tomorrow'll be? Devdas or Ungu?

Anyways, I just got back from my Grandma's and a birthday party of my dad's friend's daughter, Ayuni. A marhabban group, my aunt's a member, came down to fill the house with prayers and praises to God. Marhabban is a group of ladies, or men also I think, that gather and pray together and goes to the houses that they were invited to, usually prayers, weddings, birthdays. I find a marhabban group, a little weird? I'm no ustazah or anything, but isn't your voice your aurat and here you are reading and singing verses quite loudly? Hm, ape-apelah eh. But I kinda enjoy their voices. LOL. I'm such a sourpuss.

After the event, all my relatives sat down and ate together, which was very, very, very rare. Not even Hari Raya was this unifying. Loads of stories were shared, laughters erupted simultaneously, tears of laughter trickled. As I was eating, I looked at everybody's faces, retrieved my memories of them, and just contemplated each and every person in the house. And thought, these people will be gone, they will leave me one day. And I felt so terharu.

I really experienced a lot of bonding today. With Kak Hikmatul Khoeriyah (my Grandad's helper) gushing about Ari Wibowo and Indon sinetrons and the future, with Mak Long Zainab, with Mama Dadah (Ed: Zubaidah, nope, no drugs involved. HAHHA), Mak Min, and of course, Nenekku SuperDisayang. We bonded through sitting together in the kitchen and talking whilst packing the food into smaller portions to be distributed. Muka aku kat dapur aje. Lepaskan geram all these years tak tolong sangat. Amek kau, satu hari aku kat dapur.

And then, we went to Cik Aman Tongkol's (his nose is stongkol as my dad would put it. GAHAHA) for his daughter Ayuni's birthday. I won the 12th prize in the lucky draw! I just came and won! Wooh! A pencil case! Tak payah aku beli.. HAHA.

Ok, back to dilemma. The catch? I have until this coming Sat to do something, anything. 7 days to think and act. Thanks Syashie and Hannah for braving through my story! Nis, Mel when I meet you I'll spill..