Huang Hao and me boarded the MRT. Before that, I took a photo with him with the Mediabiz's PowerShot. I listened to all the encouragement he gave. He praised my work ethics, he said that with my attitude like this, I could go far. I stared and looked at him. My chest was heavy with grief. We talked about our families, number of siblings. Surprisingly he is the only child. But he talks as though he was the eldest, with maybe two or three siblings younger than him. He is so mature beyond guys his age. He speaks with sincerity.

As my Khatib station approaches, my nose and eyes started to act funny. Our time to separate was imminent. As I saw the greens of the forested area, I knew Khatib station was approaching. He was alighting at Sembawang.

"It has been nice working with you." I kept quiet. I tried not to cry in front of him.
"Me too. You'll go far, Ain."
Pause.
"So, you'll be taking overhead bridge, then 39 right?"
"Yup." I nodded and my self-denial increased.
"I hope I can work with you again in the future." I looked out of the MRT window.
"Most probably I'll be volunteering at Heartware again. So, I can see you again if you are not too busy." Huang Hao said (He knows of the CMM workload). I laughed quietly. I was ready to cry. Yishun stadium was already in sight.
"Take care of yourself. Sleep well and not work until so late. Hold on to your principles in life. Focus on your dreams."
"You're making me cry you know that?" I laughed fakely. I was going to cry, "Bye, Huang Hao."

We then held each other. I held his arm and he held my shoulder for a few quiet seconds. I forced myself to smile, break and look away. Time stood still as we looked at each other. I was hurting real bad. He smiled. I smiled and said bye. Then, I alighted the train. We had parted. I would not know when the next time I would meet him. Possibly never. For Ever.

The train door shut close. As I went down the escalator, I looked again. He moved off slowly, then quickly and quickly as the train sped off. His words still resonating in my ears. As the escalator descended, my eyes brimmed with tears. My vision blurred. I was anguished beyond words. If that was considered a separation, may God not put me in such a position anymore. At last the tears flowed. I tapped my ezlink. I walked towards and walked up the overhead bridge. Huang Hao. I walked towards the bus stop and waited for 39. Huang Hao.

Throughout my ride back to Pasir Ris, I teared slowly. I held back my feelings. One by one tear dropped onto my hands. The guy beside me glanced each time a teardrop fell. I did not care. I held back my tears. That was 4pm. When I finally reached school and settled my camera and recorder and changed out of my warm uniform, I sat outside the interview rooms (I was going to interview people entering BA) , and cried silently. That was around 5.30pm. I held my feelings for almost two hours. Then I let go. I just cried and cried. I'm weak. I know. I cried non-stop for 15 minutes. Then, I paused. When I remembered his words, I broke down again.

After I reached home around 8.30, I bathed. My chest was heavy again. I amintained a smile for my parents. I excused myself to got o sleep. My feminine side overtook my strength. I did not really let go yet. I teared myself to sleep. It is too painful. And as I am typing this, I am crying again.

--

Connect Singapore photos up in my Multiply (see my links!) if you wish to see it..