I HATE RADIOPRO. SERIOUSLY. I HATE RADIO AND ANYTHING AUDIO-ISH. I can so say goodbye to becoming a producer/presenter at ria897FM. Goodbye, Master Control. Goodbye Fiza O. Goodbye Hafeez Glamour. Oh no wait, Hafeez Glamour maybe still can. In manja? Yess. Ok. But seriously, I feel SO BLOODY STUPID handling the master control or what you call, the console. A Big TUUTTT.
My tutor, in my personal view, probably is laughing at me and ROFL-ing for cherishing such an ambition when I am fumbling with the faders, sequencer and log editor. He is also probably thinking I'm such a pain in the neck, butt, whichever area and why did God punish him to get a student like me. Truthfully, I have newfound respect for all radio producers and presenters. That effing stupid console is effing difficult!
I'd do haematology or media research or social sciences anytime! Heck, I'll even eat 300 bowls of smelly rojak or do 10 A.Maths papers! Yes, that is how much I hate Radio/Audio. No offence to the people who LURVVE radio and audio though. It's me. I just hate radio. Mind you, a few close people (LY, Daph..) share my sentiments about radio as well. I am not alone.
Come on man, we are expected to be exactly like the professionals out there who have years of experience. Oh wait, I do have experience, uhh 4 FRICKING WEEKS ONLY???? And this is just radio and multicamera. Multimedia? Don't even start. There's simply no mercy. And what, I am stressing about things that I will never ever do in my life and have no interest in? SHITPIE. And I think we cannot be compared to those who are already experienced with audio production. It's not fair seriously. I have never done anything audio-ish, seen a console in my whole life and now I am expected to be like Fiza O, Zan Sofiyan, AB Shaik, Mariam within a matter of weeks or months? I HATE TECHNICAL STUFF.
I am now relying heavily on Basic Sub-Editing for my doses of journalism. Seriously, Basic Sub makes me super-happy, and I'll ask a lot of questions and not be looked at as stupid and pain in the butt. But the lecture and tutorial for BSE is on Fridays! I will have died when I reach Friday. and I hope BSE won't let me down either. If not, I'll just be a thread hanging loosely.
I have no confidence, low self-esteem (nobody can go lower than me seriously), dateless single, obese, no-life-coz-filled-with-useless-assignments, dropping grades, contemplating an escapade to Madagascar or drowning in the Baltic Sea. Is my life to die for? Nope.
Oh, I so LOVE Christian from Project Runway! His designs are so.. WOW! His attitude and outlook is so.. FUYO.
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I feel that I have lost you. To those campaigns. Though I support those. But seriously. I am extremely regretful that I did not make the conscious effort to contact you and ask after you. It has always been you SMSing me for the past years; asking how had I been doing, your apologies for not contacting me and listening to me, lunch dates that I could not attend. But you have always done nicely, contacting and asking about me. I have taken you for granted. Taken for granted that you'll always be there for me and keep sending those SMSes.
And now that my phone is silent, I am terribly ashamed and guilty and the sense of loss creeps up into my body like seeping death. I know you're still there, but the silence of my phone kills me. The lunch dates that I try now with you are rebounded the same way to me. It hurts me real bad that I have been such a lousy close friend and I have not been fair to you at all. My chest is heavy and my head's aching thinking about this. I have wronged you a lot. Please return my extremely close primary school friend. Tell me what I should do to remedy the situation?
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For those who has been enquiring and want to know badly, here is the guy: my Mr. It's-Not-Gonna-Work-Out HH!
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